mitchdahbitch:

sometimes i forget how ugly i am so when i accidentally open the front camera on my phone i have an actual heart attack

oh-beatriz:

too fucking cute

oh-beatriz:

too fucking cute

Patient:  give it to me straight doc what's wrong with my x-rays
Doctor:  can't find any bone titties

btmegan:

She’s laughing bc she’s like same

pau1y:

what if 911 called you

suicideblonde:

"I remember Fight Club played at the Venice Film Festival at a midnight screening.  Edward Norton and I, after having a few drinks, were sitting next to the president who’s running the whole thing.  We’re sitting up in the balcony.  It’s subtitled and we’re the only fuckers laughing.  It gets to one of Helena’s scandalous lines - ‘I haven’t been fucked like that since I was in grade school.’ - and literally, the guy running the festival got up and left.  Edward and I were still the only ones laughing.  You could hear two idiots up in the balcony cackling through the whole thing.” - Brad Pitt in Entertainment Weekly, Sept 23rd, 2011 

suicideblonde:

"I remember Fight Club played at the Venice Film Festival at a midnight screening.  Edward Norton and I, after having a few drinks, were sitting next to the president who’s running the whole thing.  We’re sitting up in the balcony.  It’s subtitled and we’re the only fuckers laughing.  It gets to one of Helena’s scandalous lines - ‘I haven’t been fucked like that since I was in grade school.’ - and literally, the guy running the festival got up and left.  Edward and I were still the only ones laughing.  You could hear two idiots up in the balcony cackling through the whole thing.” 
- Brad Pitt in Entertainment Weekly, Sept 23rd, 2011 

Favorite Mark Hoppus Tweets - Part 2

thatsmoderatelyraven:

why………do…people..not..take..showers…..

chickenyaoi:

steveinacoma:

rupsidaisy:

plucking your eyebrows is legitimately very stressful because you pull out one wrong hair and it’s game over

You pluck a chicken. You tweeze your eyebrows.

did the wording of this post ruffle your feathers

wastedm1nd:

Best plot twist